My Husband Doesn't Even Ask Anymore

Like when he found a toothbrush identical to his sitting beside a jug of bleach.

Or when I dropped the camera in the ocean.

Or about the cup of dirt I keep in my studio.

Or when I'm hunched over the newspaper cutting out obituaries.

Or even that time we had this conversation:

Him: The dog left you a present this morning
Me: She didn't chew my book, did she?
Him: No, your phone.
Me: Oh, good.

It's probably for the best.